1. I have been engaged for about 48 hours.
2. I just like saying that.
3. And I miss my girl like crazy.
4. I sold a trashcan on Craigslist today for fifteen bucks. Yes, a trashcan. Do not throw anything away. Put it on Craigslist. You will be amazed at what sells and what doesn't.
5. I use cleaning and reorganizing in the same manner that some people use drugs.
6. And so, due to number three, I have sold a trashcan, cleaned my refrigerator and freezer, put all bulk foods in mason jars, wiped down counters and cabinets, and taken out trash in the last two hours.
7. My nearly eighteen-year-old daughter just sent me a text telling me she got to work safely. It warms my heart that she will still humor her mother.
8. I am an atheist, but I just did a Laksmi puja. You figure it out.
9. I just finished doing the dishes. I love doing dishes by hand. In fact, I despise dishwashers, and will never voluntarily own one.
10. I know that Vitamin Water is actually just candy water. So why can't I stop drinking the XXX flavored one? I love that crap.
11. I do not, however, love taking out the trash. If I could invent a robot to take out my trash, that would be fantastic.
12. Why did I ever think we needed a toaster oven? I bartered for one, sure that it would enhance our lives in some magical way. What it actually does is take up counter space and sit mostly untouched. I guess I will barter it away for something more useful.
13. I burn more incense than a headshop. No, I am not using it for the same reason.
14. Unlike the toaster oven barter, I am totally thrilled with my latest exchange. I use my new to me cast iron skillet and wok every single day.
15. If you don't belong to a barter group, you should join one. If there isn't one to join where you live, you should start one.
16. I have saved thousands of dollars over the past year via bartering, and have been able to pass on things I no longer used to people who will, as well as offered my services to people who would otherwise not be able to afford them. It is almost always a win/win situation.
17. I am having a bit of a hard time accepting that in seventeen short days I will be the mother of an adult.
18. I am also insanely proud of my eldest daughter, and think she is doing a fantastic job of growing up.
19. I'm not sure if I am growing boring, or just more easy to please.
20. Because lately, the things that constitute a perfect day for me are very, very simple and small.
21. The big stuff is cool and all, but I am beginning to realize that most of the time, the little stuff is the big stuff.
22. For instance, at this moment, my kitchen is spotless. I am home alone, sitting in that kitchen. The incense I am burning smells divine, and it was purchased from a very sweet local artisan. I am in perfect health. In this moment I am not worried about a single thing, and am perfectly content. Poof. Magic. A perfect moment.
23. Although it is terribly socially unacceptable to admit it, I never experience a shred of guilt about anything I eat or drink.
24. Every single piece of art in my home was made by someone I care about, or given to me by someone I love.
25. Taking down the Christmas decorations feels just a wee bit sad this year.
26. I may have glitter in the cracks of my dining room table forever. I don't care.
27. I wish people who don't allow art and craft supplies in their homes because it creates a mess wouldn't procreate.
28. Kids are messy. If it bothers you that much, grow plants, instead.
29. I finally had enough of the quiet and decided to hook up the computer speakers, only to discover that because my daughter has made herself the admin, I cannot install Spotify without her permission. Ptttthhhh.
30. Ok, Coachella cd it is, then.
31. I must be getting old. I didn't get out of bed until ten this morning, and it is only 9 pm, and I feel like I could go to bed.
32. No, I am not depressed.
33. Doing things like car insurance paperwork take such a small amount of time. So why do I put them off until the last possible second?
34. I just found a retainer that is supposed to be in Amherst, MA.
35. Drinking red wine from a green plastic tumbler. Keepin' it classy.
36. That's fitting, as I am listening to Bob Dylan, Abandoned Love.
37. Why is it fitting? I don't know. Doesn't it seem like they are an apt pairing?
38. Every time I effortlessly open a bottle of wine, I think of the night I moved into this house, and one of my best friends brought me a bottle of wine. It took three of us, plus a youtube tutorial, to master the corkscrew.
39. And somehow it turned into a semi-pornographic thing.
40. Uh, between us and the bottle and the corkscrew, not between the three friends.
41. I had my new comforter all of three months before I got ink on it.
42. Though shalt not write in bed. Whatever.
43. Time to have a shot of Jenny Lewis, Acid Tongue.
44. After an entire lifetime of listening, Across the Universe can still reduce me to tears.
45. When seven people share one bathroom for several days, it will be absolutely trashed by the end. True story.
46. I like messes that offer up proof that the mess makers were too busy having fun to be bothered with cleaning.
47. I also like having a small house, because no matter how trashed it gets, it can be cleaned up relatively quickly.
48. 2012 has truly been the best of times and the worst of times.
49. Which beats the hell out of 2011, which was simply the worst of the worst of all time.
50. Good, solid love makes all the difference in the world.
51. It is the world.
52. Why else are we here?
53. I can't remember the last time salsa wasn't on my grocery list. We go through salsa like some families go through water or milk.
54. I should buy stock in Herdez.
55. But for the love of all things holy, please do not try to sneak Ortega onto my food.
56. I prefer to make it myself, actually. But I get busy sometimes.
57. In ways I am not often able to articulate, I am quite grateful that my life unfolded exactly how it has, and that I have been through some rough stuff.
58. I think it has made me much softer, easier, compassionate, and resilient than I would have otherwise been.
59. I certainly don't think that everyone who was born into middle class or above families lacks those qualities, but I have an inkling that I may have lacked them had I been raised in such a manner.
60. I am quite grateful that I will never know for sure.
61. Instead, I know what I know. And I know how to survive, thrive, and be grateful.
62. In this moment I am grateful that my daughter is dating a guy who makes homemade cheesecake and brings it to his girlfriend's family.
63. I am also grateful that I drink so infrequently that two small glasses of wine can make me pleasantly buzzed.
64. I think I am officially over U2.
65. I think I need to go to bed.